When I worked at the college a few years ago, one of my fellow teachers asked me if I spoke Russian. I answered, "No, I speak Spanish," thinking that she simply mistook the 2 languages when we were learning about each other's educational backgrounds.
Some time later, she asked me why I didn't speak Russian. I looked at her a bit funny, and told her that I decided to study Spanish instead. She then asked, "Why didn't your parents make sure you learned Russian? Didn't you speak it in the house growing up?" I looked at her even more strangely, and told her my parents didn't speak any other languages; they were born in the United States, their parents were born in the United States, and past that... Well, Norway and Wales. Not Russia.
She started laughing. "Oh! I've always thought you were Russian. You LOOK Russian. I just assumed. I couldn't understand why you didn't SPEAK Russian." Needless to say, I started laughing as well, and 6 years later, we still laugh about that story.
This story reminds me of the times that I get stuck. Sometimes I assume something to be true, or I get so caught up in a lie, that it affects my own grasp of what is real and true and based in reality. Whether it's a lie about myself that I've been told or that I have come up with on my own, or a misguided opinion about someone else that affects the way I think about them or treat them, or something that I just tell myself is true without checking the facts to be true (like ice cream is good for me because it contains calcium)... These are not truths, but when we take them as true, they affect our thoughts and behaviours.
I had a couple of teachers in high school who helped me deal with some issues I was having outside of school. And both of them stood up to the lies I was facing in my life. One teacher told me, "That isn't right. That's not ok." What I'd gotten used to as normal actually wasn't normal. He helped me take another look at my skewed view of an aspect of my life, and see it for what it really was, the reality of the situation. The other teacher kept telling me, "You gotta call a spade a spade." She was very clear about not twisting the truth of the matter. Just grab it, the truth or the reality or the facts, and call it like I see it. Both of these people were amazingly helpful as I was navigating this particular aspect of my life.
Now, when I get caught up in negative self-talk, or a particularly tempting lie about myself or someone else, or a lie or bit of ignorance about God, it's helpful to remember the experience with my friend. I recall the certainty she seemed to feel about my Russian heritage, without even knowing the facts. I also clearly remember her disdain, condescension even, that my parents had let the Russian language slip through my language study and acquisition. She had created this whole story about me that was not based in truth at all. But once she discovered the truth, the lie seemed so funny, so ridiculous, and she was able to see that it had no foundation.
I hope that as I continue on my journey to discover the truth, about myself, the people around me, but most importantly, about God, that I will strive to believe things that are secure, sitting on a strong foundation. Everything else is just smoke and mirrors, a blatant lie, and at best, a comical misunderstanding. Instead, I want to have a foundation that has no fallacies; one that is strong and steady, and based on the true ideas that I can see reflected all around me. If I fill up with good, with truth, there will be no room for anything else.
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