13 ideas for 2013 - and a poem

Not exactly resolutions, but ideas to incorporate into my day-to-day actions and behaviors and thoughts.


13 ideas for 2013:

1. Giving up fear.
We're not here to be afraid of life. Cue Teddy Roosevelt's famous quote about nothing to fear. :)

2. Gratitude for the overwhelming quantity of good that is present.
There is always something we can be grateful for, and usually more than we could ever count.
 

3. Loving intensely, even if it also means being vulnerable.
Henri Nouwen has a great meditation about this:
"Do not hesitate to love and to love deeply. You might be afraid of the pain that deep love can cause. When those you love deeply reject you, leave you, or die, your heart will be broken. But that should not hold you back from loving deeply. The pain that comes from deep love makes your love ever more fruitful. It is like a plow that breaks the ground to allow the seed to take root and grow into a strong plant. Every time you experience the pain of rejection, absence, or death, you are faced with a choice. You can become bitter and decide not to love again, or you can stand straight in your pain and let the soil on which you stand become richer and more able to give life to new seeds."
Also, Leo Buscaglia talks about this as well. "All of us have this incredible potential to love, but it is only a potential... unless it's realized, unless you do something about it, it's not going to happen." http://youtu.be/87DRpZ1Ac0s

4. Honesty.
Not being afraid (#1) of letting people know how much I love them (#3). Trading my safety for my authenticity. (This last part is an idea from Brene Brown.)

5. Knowing that we are all loved unconditionally, we are worthy, and we belong.
This is undeniably true, no matter how we feel on our worst days. There is One who loves us unconditionally. And no matter how different we may feel, how much of an outcast or however unworthy, it is all bullshit. We are amazing and the Beloved.

 

6. Spending some time alone, quiet and intentional, instead of go-go-go.
I have a hard time slowing down. It's almost impossible for me to sit down on my couch and chill for more than 2 minutes. But this is important. When I have some solitude, without my phone or distractions, I seem to be more in tune with what God is saying. So I guess this is not really time alone, but time with God.
 

7. More green juice, less sugar.
Well, I just love www.rawfamily.com.
 

8. Read more, especially by Anne Lamott, Brene Brown, and Henri Nouwen.
Any other amazing spiritually-driven authors you guys know about? Please let me know!
 

9. Talk with myself in the same manner that I talk with my best friend.
It amazes me how mean we are to ourselves. The manner in which I talk with myself, I wouldn't talk with my worst enemy. And why aren't we a bit more compassionate with ourselves? This will be a big one for me this year.
 

10. More dog parks for Vin.
He agrees.
 

11. Listening to/watching more TED talks.
These are amazing. I love TED.
 

12. More journaling.
Somehow I figure out solutions to things when I write about them. The same happens when I go on a bike ride or a walk.
 

13. More time with what matters: family, friends, God.
While still honoring #6.


 

And the poem.

Others

Thinking today
About love
And intensity and strength;
And wondering what we all need.

It comes from within
And comes from above
But still, still...
Everyone needs someone in their life
Who says, "I adore you."

"You're the best."
"You make me laugh."
"I love you." 

 Otherwise, God would have made
7 billion little islands
Instead of 7 continents.

Letting Go

 

The year 2012 came to a close, and 2013 is the current "Now." But it was a bit hard for me to say goodbye to 2012.

As I've written before, 2012 was a pretty tough year, the toughest of my 30 years so far. But it was also the best. So many gifts, so much love, so many kind and generous gestures and happenings... it was overwhelming in all of its goodness. So much happened, too; it's definitely been the year where I've written the most blog posts, sent the most emails -- all long, sentimental, intense -- and posted the most on Facebook. There was a lot going on, both externally with my experiences and internally with how I was processing all of it.

So why is it hard to say goodbye to 2012? I had so many good times, and since those are all a part of me, I don't have to say goodbye to those experiences. For the struggles I faced in 2012, those are easy to let go of; I will not miss them. But there was one aspect of 2012 that I was anxious about saying goodbye to.

A couple months ago I learned that I had lost a very dear friend ("All is well."). I was shocked; it was an unexpected loss. And as the year started to come to a close, I suddenly felt a bit of panic; I didn't want this year to ever end, a year when she was here on earth and alive and well. In all of our human-created arbitrary numbers and timetables and calendars, I was clinging to 2012 because it was a time in my life, a frame of reference, where I could say, "She was here. And if she's not going to be in 2013, then I don't want anything to do with 2013 either." Looking back on this, it seems a bit comical, as if 2012 was a bathroom stall and my friend had written "I was here" on its wall. As if there were ever a time, or ever will be a time, where she won't be present... as if her identity could ever cease to be. But I remember I felt the same thing about November even; on November 1st I found out that she had passed away, and I didn't want November to ever end, because for a couple of waking hours that month, in the early morning hours before the phone call and the news, I had thought she was alive and well. And I wanted to forever remain in that mindset.

I know that seems a bit strange; desperately clinging to a time frame... Especially when we consider that God is timeless and our identities as God's children are also timeless. Even just thinking about the concept of time, we are the ones that think about days and years and birthdays and anniversaries (Time and Anniversaries). But within our human perspectives and thoughts, it can be hard to break away from the structures and foundations that we have built up, many having to do with time.

As I was thinking about not wanting to let go of 2012 (because I was sure I would feel even further from my friend than I currently did if we had to change years), I suddenly had a recovered memory of a moment with her. It was something that had happened over a year ago, in October 2011, and something I probably hadn't thought of since then. We were in a group, and she kept introducing me to people, and telling people things about me that she seemed proud of. Just little things, but the way she talked about me and introduced me to these people, I could feel her love and her admiration. I felt so loved by her then in that moment of 2011. And a couple days ago, when I was feeling like she was getting further and further away, this memory stopped me in my mental tracks and brought me such a sense of peace and love. I felt like she was right there, and again felt so much love from her. (Also, fun random unexpected fact: I was watching a movie at a friend's house this New Year's Eve, and we started the movie in 2012 and finished it in 2013. The setting of the movie? The exact city my friend lived in. Just another sign that merely moving from 1 year to the next couldn't change anything about my friend's identity or her presence in my life.)

One more thought: Sometimes our friends or family see us for what we're worth. They see all of our good and all of our value, and see us as God must see us. And when that friend or family member is away or maybe not even a part of our life anymore, it can be hard for us to remember that we are valuable and worthy. It is good to remember that we are valuable not because that person saw our value, but because that is how God made us. A friend of mine had some wise words of encouragement. "All your good is not wrapped up in that person." When my friend passed on, I felt my personal worth go down. But it's important to realize that my value is not as shifty or unpredictable as the stock market; I, along with all of God's other sons and daughters, am His beautiful creation and He knows that I am precious, unique, and full of worth. And my value has nothing to do with what another person thinks of me, and it cannot be lost just because the person affirming our worth seems to not be as accessible as they once were. There is a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt that I love: "What other people think of me is none of my business." It really doesn't matter what other people think, as God's opinion of us is the only one that matters.

On earth, we grieve. We sometimes feel sad. We experience loss. When thinking about our spiritual identity, no one can be lost. And love, good, is never lost. With these thoughts, I felt a sense of peace as our human calendar changed from Dec. 31, 2012, to Jan. 1, 2013. And I felt that all the love that was ever present was right there, undiminished and stronger than ever.